Co Parenting with a Toxic ex
Co-parenting is hard, the growing points for Co-Parenting depicts the difficult tasks arising when two partners of a couple separate. Coordinated and conflicted Co-parenting describes the fate of a child’s future. Mother and father, both are essential in a kid’s behavioral mechanisms.
The problem arises when parents undergo conflicted Co-parenting, or when your kid’s father or mother is too punitive. A difficult co parent is a complete mental torture.
You need ways to overcome your ex’s aggressive behavior. This will be not only effective for your mental peace, but also in raising your child.
5 Effective methods to deal with your Toxic Ex:
1. DO NOT LET HIM PROVOKE YOUR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS:
Once the divorce is over, you both are independently responsible for your personal decisions. Don’t let your ex-husband provoke your post-divorce trauma. Marriage is not an easy decision, so is divorce. It was not only your fault about what happened so do not allow him to blame or gaslight you for the past. What is done is done, do not fight for what is not in your hand. You definitely know the nature of your partner, mark your boundaries from day one and ignore his efforts to provoke you.
2. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP TO COMBAT MENTAL ILLNESSES:
Remember: IT IS COMPLETELY OK TO BE NOT OKAY!
Do not be this hard on yourself. We all need help. Co-parenting is already an exhausting challenge, addition of a punitive ex may completely break your patience level. Take some time. Go back and relax! Seek a professional who can help you to combat the difficulties you are facing.
Single Co-Parenting can bring mental disorders like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety and Chronic Depression. You need to be emotionally stable for your child. Your kid needs you!
3. TAKE LEGAL ACTIONS AGAINST AN IRRITATING PARTNER:
If your ex-partner is harassing you, there is no need to fear that. Warn him about your rights as a citizen of the state. You have complete support of the judiciary if your partner is not providing you safety or harassing you. Although it should be the last step, violation of your rights will affect your kid’s mental state. You cannot raise your kid healthily in an environment of constant fear and trauma. You need to make a decision for yourself. You have the right to go to court as well.
4. MIGRATE TO SOME OTHER PLACE:
If you want to avoid your ex without taking legal action, change your location. Do not illegally take your kid away from his other parent, but if his poking nose is affecting your child’s confidence, be careful and try to migrate to some other place for a short duration of time. Make your child understand the situation, and present him with options of what is better for both of you. Involve your kid but do not brainwash him for his other parent. Allow him to participate and make a decision rather than hiding facts from your kid.
5. DIVIDE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES:
Your child is not only your property. It requires two people’s consent in producing a kid. Your ex might be fussy of your over possessiveness about your child. Ask him to share responsibilities with you in raising your kid. Be careful and vigilant about his reaction, and divide your duties i.e. ask him to pick up from school on every alternate day, make sure he takes the financial part of his kid. Ask him to visit the school to keep an account of his progress. Make sure you both are present at your child’s Parents Teacher Meetings (PTM).
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How to deal with a hostile ex-husband?
A hostile ex-husband needs to be treated with patience, don’t let his words and actions control your mental functionality. Be calm and tell him your legal rights as a mother. If necessary, you can ask for asylum from your state’s attorney too. You need to be patient and wise as your decisions will imprint in your kid’s personality development. If communication solves your problem, be ready to solve it on the desk. Don’t be impulsive or emotional while making a decision. Be patient and functional realistically.
2. How to deal with disrespectful coparent?
Do not compromise on your respect when it comes to raising a child. Be clear in your words. However do not use your child as a weapon either. Mark your boundaries and do not use rude words in return. Remember respect is always maintained when you give respect to your co partner too. You get a reaction to what you showed first. Be respectful from the start and do not let any mishap or mistake destroy your functionality. Act mature, try to compromise and understand your Co-Partner’s situation as well.