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HOW CAN I BE A BETTER WIFE AND MOTHER

Motherhood is the toughest part of parenting. Research about effective motherhood depicts that according to social norms, mothers who are attentive to their child are the best mothers. Motherhood comes with a price of giving birth to the baby, and then taking responsibility for physical needs until the child reaches the age to take care of his own. Either it is solo parenting or Co-Parenting, a mother is the main character in a child’s life.

Some measures are necessary to be taken for effective parenting. It is necessary for mothers to understand some points about how to be patient with their kids. Motherhood can be very fantasizing and difficult at the same time. Young mothers need to pre-plan their preferences before having a kid.

Marriage  is a contract where two partners, usually sharing the same interests, choose to stay together for planning a family, under the law. Marriages in different communities hold different historical and religious backgrounds. Once tied in knots, the actual responsibilities arise. A marriage is a union of two partners, husband and wife, that follows to be parents, the mother and the father. Both the partners need to collaborate for a peaceful life, prioritising love-life, peace, family over everything they come across. 

Being a wife and a mother is a challenging preference until you know how you can prove your part in a marriage.

BETTER WIFE AND MOTHER

Tips on How to be a Better Wife and Mother

Here are 12 effective tips on how you can be a better wife and a better mother, and make basis for a good family.

1. FAMILY PLANNING: 

In many developed countries, family planning is the most essential part of marriage and pre marriage contracts. A relationship needs to be planned before implementation. Wedlock follows a systemic arrangement. If you are a working mother, you need to estimate your patience level and the ability to hold a child before planning it. Working women who are family oriented usually find it difficult to handle and balance both work and personal life together. Remember, if you own a child, you need to be ready for the challenges as well. Make a priority list and plan accordingly.

2. ONLY A HEALED MOTHER AND WIFE CAN RAISE HEALTHY CHILDREN:

Emotionally healthy mothers can raise healthy kids. If you are already going through anger issues, mismanagement during house chores and financial problems, you most probably are in stress. Unhealthy mothers can be a source of traumas for their children. Remember, your childhood traumas should not be a heritage for your child. If you are unable to balance, seek house help for house chores, and professional psychological therapies for your own.  Identify your triggers, maintain a distance and choose silence when you need to boost your energy. Remember, you can NEVER pore from an empty cup. Do not drain yourself.

3. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR HUSBAND:

Communication gaps can ruin very deep and effective relationships. Make sure you can patiently sit at a table to communicate your differences without being aggressive. Women need to understand, communication gap can only be minimised with patiently discussing all the challenging questions. Do not lose your temper and do not involve your emotions when it’s to acceptance of the circumstances.

Young beautiful blonde woman talking to african american man

4. ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO MAKE MISTAKES: 

If you want to raise healthy kids, do not be over possessive about your child. Allow them to make mistakes. It is ok if your son broke ankle in a football game, or your daughter burnt the recipe. Do not stress out and teach them to learn from their mistakes. You cannot protect them for life, allow them to make their own way in the world.  Teach them to stand after every fall.

 5. RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND:

Respect can only be earned until you provide respect to your spouse. Do not disgrace or humiliate your husband either in public or in private. Do not lose temper or hurt him by ill speech. A little patience and understanding can keep things in lane.

6. DO NOT KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND’S FINANCIAL CRISIS:

Remember financial crises are the ups and downs of marital life. When you have actually accepted to be a wife, do not keep complaining about your husband’s finances. All the peace of this relationship is ruined when it comes to humiliation of your spouse.

Frustrated couple arguing and having marriage problems outdoor

7. TRUST YOUR HUSBAND:

Either it is financial responsibilities, or any other mishap, do not be over possessive. Trust your partner, do not stalk or investigate. Skepticism can kill your self-worth and confidence. Discuss on a table, communicate with transparency and trust your spouse in every difficult time. 

8. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES:

Before you both tie in knots, set your boundaries and preferences. It is not necessary to be involved in your house chores. Remember you are a human on your own too. Set your preferences and time for what you want to do.  Discuss your dreams and goals with your partner and work on your interests too. Discuss your boundaries with your husband beforehand. Whether it is time management or other financial duties, discuss with your partner. 

9. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILD WITH OTHERS:

Remember your every kid is very special on his own. Do not complicate things by comparing ones ability with the other one. Your kids are not competitors. They are siblings to each other. Just help them to understand their flaws and work on it. Do not force your kid to be academically strong as the other one. This will create a fuss and they will never identify their own fields of interest to excel. Ask them to share their interests and support each other, rather than competing, disliking and abandoning each other.

Portrait of two girls, face to face

10. BUILD A SAFE ZONE WHERE YOUR FAMILY CAN SHARE ANYTHING WITH YOU:

Things become complicated, when children start hiding their feelings and problems from their parents. Do not be so busy in your life that your child gets insecure about sharing his thoughts with you. Build a safe zone for your child, where he/she shares every thing that bothers them without being judged. Sometimes kids are afraid of their parent’s reaction to something unusual that happened. Keep in mind your child is a new being to this world. Make sure, as a mother you are close to your kid. Mothers are soft creatures and they need to hold up their kids emotionally when they feel low. Do not let your fear make them hide their worries, mistakes, mishaps and feelings from you. 

11. DO NOT DISGRACE YOUR CHILD IN PUBLIC:

Parents, especially mothers need to understand that their kids are grown up individuals to the world outside. Your kid can be a toddler in front of you, but they hold a space outside. Remember how you treat your kid will be the scale for others to treat them as well. Do not disgrace your child. Respect them in public. Kids learn from parents. You will be treated in the same way then. You can be a better mother when you treat your child as a grown up, than a small kid. Respect them and involve them when you are making some minor decisions like changing the room decor, colour of the new wallpaper and other small stuff.

12. DO NOT COMPROMISE ON RULES BUT ALSO DO NOT YELL AT YOUR KID:

What disturbs a child is the yelling of a parent. Mothers usually yell at kids. You cannot be a better mom until you don’t follow the rules at home on your own or start compromising for your favourite kid. Set some rules and be firmly attached to it. Do not compromise on the rules, and teach them adherence to basic moral values. Do not yell at them when they break rules, just make them understand in clear words how it offended you. What is spoken in huge volume cannot be as effective as an understanding communication on opposite side of a table. 

Parenting is hard, but you need to follow some boundaries, stay strict yet flexible at the same time. A mother needs to be patient and careful when making decisions.

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