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NARCISSISTIC MOTHER

Narcissism  is a self-centered personality style, a mental health condition in which the sufferer has an unreasonably high sense of his/her own importance. Dealing with real life narcissistic humans can be very hard, and avoiding interaction with such humans is one of the most difficult solutions. 

However, the situation becomes worse when anyone from your close relationships is a narcissist, most particularly a narcissistic mother.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER?

NARCISSISTIC MOTHER

It is difficult to handle a narcissistic parent. Especially if you are a kid under Co-Parenting or Parallel Co-Parenting, you need to take some very basic steps to avoid the consequences of a narcissistic parent. Mothers are usually more narcissistic as compared to fathers. Here are 5 tips that can prove effective while dealing with a narcissistic mother:

1.PLAN YOUR RESPONSE:

Remember, DO NOT REACT IMPULSIVELY, while dealing with a narcissistic mother. Plan your response. Be gentle and polite rather than reacting violently. Consider your mother as a psychologically unstable person. Plan your response and react calmly.

2. SET BOUNDARIES:

Keep a boundary with your mother. Make sure you hold a private space in your home, and set a boundary with your mother to not interact in your specific hours. Highlight your boundary to your mother each time you feel yourself falling prey to her narcissism.

3.DO NOT TRY TO FIX HER:

Remember, you are not a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Do not try to fix your mother. You cannot heal or fix someone when you are not healed on your own. Be careful in that and do not allow narcissism to affect you. You cannot change a person’s personality that took years to develop in a mere second. Accept what she is, and protect yourself from her.

Young mother sitting next to bed

4.STOP COMPARING YOUR MOTHER WITH OTHERS:

Do not compare your mother with the mothers of your friends or cousins. Try to keep the best possible relationship with your mother. You cannot accuse a patient for his illness. Disconnect with your mother if you feel your attitude may hurt her. No matter what, she is your mother and you cannot deny her presence in your life.

You need to heal on your own. If possible, seek professional help for your mother. Studies shows, the most difficult ones to cure are narcissists and those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD. Give your mother the right amount of attention until it drains you. Keep boundaries with that as well.

5. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR MOTHER:

If possible, keep visiting your therapist once in a while. Kids living with narcissistic mothers are at the highest risk to Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Do not let your childhood traumas affect your coming generation. It is not necessary that you carry the narcissism of your mother in legacy. If possible, suggest your mother visit a psychologist too.  Narcissism need to be cured professionally too.

SIGNS OF A NARCISSISTIC PARENT:

There are chances you are struggling with any of your narcissistic mother or family members without knowing about their mental disorder. While dealing with a narcissistic parent, you need to know what are the signs of a narcissistic person. 

woman at home on sofa with plaid

Following are 5 signs you need to know before you look into dealing with a narcissistic person.

1.ASKING VALIDATION FROM CHILD

Your parent is a narcissist if he/she asks validation from you. Although it should not be confused with the struggling parents who want to know about their child’s views about them. Narcissistic Parents continuously ask validation from their children, compare themselves with other parents. They ask their kids to praise them and completely control their child’s preferences about them. 

2.CONTROLLING:

Narcissistic parents are very controlling. They need access to their child’s thoughts. They are over possessive about their children’s dream and preferences. Overly controlling behavior may disturb a child’s personality development.

mother trying to control her baby

3.DISREGARD OF DREAMS AND BOUNDARIES:

Such parents follow their mood swings when it comes to be a child’s support system. Narcissistic parents crush their child’s dreams by constantly degrading their kid. Narcissistic Parents impose their decisions and ask validation for doing that. They don’t respect the boundaries and are always mentally torturing their kid just to highlight their own importance in their child’s life. 

4.FAVOURITISM:

Narcissistic parents always prefer their own interests and play favorite when comes to choose their children’s preferences. They compare their kids by acting as supportive parents but completely degrading their child who is not very bright. They consider such child as a shame to their brought up. They can’t tolerate their weak child as it’s a threat to their own brought up.

5.FORCED FORGIVENESS:

A narcissistic parent expects the children to be caregivers. They emotionally abused their children and play blame game by validating their existence. They ask their kids to say sorry each time anything worse happens. They believe in forced forgiveness. Such parents need to seek professional help.

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