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Overbearing Mother 

A mother who is dictatorial, arrogant, decisive, and does not allow her children to take decisions is an overbearing mother. 

A domineering mother, who has over control of nature and does not allow kids to learn, usually disturbs her kid’s personalities. An overbearing mother can be toxic and narcissistic. It’s difficult to deal with such mothers, and identifying them is very necessary. Overbearing mother can be a survivor of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder OCPD.

OVERBEARING MOTHER

Signs of an Overbearing Mother

Here are 5 signs of an overbearing mother:

1. DICTATORIAL NATURE:

An over protective mother is dictatorial in nature. She is completely taking charge of her kids and do not allow kids to choose life decisions. An overbearing mother is overprotective and makes the life plan of her kids by her own. Either it is eating habits, life preferences, college or university preferences or selection of subject, an over protective mother never allow kids to choose. Her dictatorial nature can be annoying and disturbing at the same time. In some life preferences, her decision might be right, but the right decisions through dictatorship usually leave unhealed marks on kid’s personality.

Woman disapproving

2. LACK OF BOUNDARIES:

An overbearing mother can be identified by her basic rules at home. Some overbearing mothers do not allow kids to shift to personal rooms. Some mothers do not want their kids to shut doors. They keep checking their kid’s phone and have an extraordinary interference in her child’s social circle.

Such lack of boundaries can lead to suffocation. Kids of such mothers rarely can take any decision in life.

3. EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION:

One cannot have a transparent conversation with an over protective and over bearing mother. They start manipulation eventually, and do not listen to what their kids or surrounding expect from them to respect and respond. The communication can lead to manipulation and complaints, disturbing speech and other kind of emotional blackmailing. Such kind of manipulative techniques clearly differentiate and overbearing person from a normal relationship.

4. UNDER CONFIDENT KIDS:

Children who need an external validation, or are disturbed adults usually grew up under over controlling households. They rarely can figure out problems and are just wondering for aid to help them work and function well. Low self-esteem, usually bullied at institutions or disturbed lifestyle of such adults can explain their early nourishment. Both, the parents who are neglected or are over protected result in disturbed individuals with childhood traumas.

crying Ukrainian boy

5. YOU ALWAYS FEEL GUILTY FOR YOUR CHOICES AS A KID:

If your mother, or father is over bearing, you might be guilty for choosing your favorite colors. You might feel doing wrong when it comes to your own preferences. Either is it job opportunities or other choices, if you feel like harming your parent’s interests by choosing yourself, it’s more likely they have a very dominant effect on your personal life choices.

HOW TO DEAL WITH AN OVERBEARING MOTHER?

Overbearing mothers need to be handle accordingly. Here are 4 necessary steps you need to initiate once you start observing the dictatorial and domineering part of your mother:

1. EXPLAIN THE SITUATION:

You need to explain the situation to your over protective mother about your likes and dislikes. Tell your mother how it bothers you and how you feel humiliated among friends and family. Explain in a respectful tone and do not rush or panic out. You cannot change your mother’s 30 years of nature in 30 minutes. Be patient 

2. START TAKING YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES GRADUALLY:

Start taking your responsibilities gradually. Either is it’s physical responsibilities, financial or other emotional support, try to tell your bossy parent it’s safe the way your are taking care of your own and you are there for them because you love them. Providing a safe environment is necessary.

3. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP:

You need to seek professional help if your brought up is in a complete different and over protective environment. Seek professional health, and explain your therapist about all you went through as a child, for your space and for communication.

doctor sitting on a table

4. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES:

Set your room and your personal space away from your parents. Ask them to not interrupt you when it is your time to work. Give them clear statements and introduce boundaries in a very respectful manner. Do not let anyone destroy your boundaries.  Explain to them and stay patient. They are your parents you need to understand their situation and respect them accordingly. They love you and don’t want you to make mistakes. Do not hate them for this.

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