HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM A GOOD MOTHER?

Motherhood is a challenging, tough job. Mothers usually go through the phases of self-doubt, not being enough to achieve the goal and perfection. Young mothers usually question their motherhood when they watch the social media trends of perfection and motherhood. The social media norms of calling everyone “toxic and imperfect” have created chaos and disturbance in the natural flow of life.

Don’t worry, if you are questioning your motherhood abilities, here are 10 acts that good mothers do, just adopt and then you will be the best mum for your kid.

10 Qualities of a Good Mother

1.You are sacrificing your own needs for your kids:

Are you always preferring your kid’s needs over your personal choices? These sacrifices can be on a small scale as well as large scale. Mothers are giving entities. If you are trying to provide for your child’s needs, definitely you are the best mom. Mothers who prioritize family and kids over their other choice tend to be more perfect mothers. Good mothers do not complain all the time and are the ones who are caregivers to the small toddler.

2.You keep work-home balance:

If you are a working woman in doubt about your motherhood abilities, check to see if you are able to maintain a balance between work life and life at home. Check this following list:

1. Do you take your work frustration home? 

2. Are you unable to spend effective family time?

3. Are you disturbed all the time?

4. Do you scold your kids unnecessarily?

5. Do you miss your child’s school annual days or other events?

6. Are you aware of your child’s habits and preferences about life?

Such questions can lead you to know how much effort you need to put into.

3.Involvement in your child’s life:

Do you hear when your child talks to you? Are you aware of what’s happening in your child’s life? Either it is school life or friend circle, do you know what your child’s likes and dislikes, preferences and priorities are? If you keep a check on your child and give him space, definitely you are the best mom ever. Keep your checked interference in your kid’s life.

Give him small advice. Do not be extraordinarily controlling. Be patient and give your child space. When your child is worried, ask him to feel free to connect with you. Give him confidence to share problems with you.

4.Allow your child to make Mistakes:

Are you always worried and fear that your child will make mistakes? Are you disturbed when your child asks to learn new things?  Are you trying to completely lock your child’s new hobbies?  Good mothers do not do that. Ever seen a sea gull teaching her kids to fly? She allows them to fall. Good mothers do not panic when their kids fall or fail. They allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Good mothers teach their kids the lessons of their mistakes.

5.More Practical than emotional:

Good Mothers are more practical, and function with thinking effectively rather than emotional approach. Your child is in the learning stage. Rather than being impulsive, you need to treat your child as a student progressing in life rather than an adult committing mistakes. You are a good mommy if you are teaching your kid in every decision he is making.  Emotions might aggregate and leave a negative impact on them. Channel your emotions and allow them to express their behavior.

6.Take time for their own self:

Good mothers take some time from the duty of motherhood for their own. You are a good mother if you balance both daily life and personal choices. It’s time for your personal growth and self-relief. It can either be gym, a visit to the library, or taking yourself to coffee. If you take time for yourself, then definitely, you would not be frustrated all the time. This frustration might affect your personal life and affect your child’s behavior. Good mothers do NOT ignore themselves. They know a good mother is the basis of a good healthy family.

7.Teaching Financial Independency:

Financial Independency is necessary on an individual level. Good mothers teach their kids to be financially independent. Teaching skill to your child at an early age besides study is necessary, so that they can take their responsibilities just before reaching 18. Financial needs of small things should be taken care of by the children so that they can develop a sense of responsibility.

8.Good Mothers are Strict and do not compromise on Discipline:

Good Mothers are soft when needed and at the same time strict during serious circumstances. Such mothers do not compromise on discipline. They draw boundaries for kids and let them know the rules. Kids who aren’t punished for their first crime at home do not feel like doing wrong things for fun later on. Things taught at home can be minimized by adopting a balanced routine of strictness and firmness at the same time. 

9.Sense of responsibility at home:

Kids should be taught to take responsibility at home too. Making their own bed, clearing their mess, washing their own dishes and doing their own laundry. Such things taught at beginning stages of life persist in a child’s behavior for always. When kids take on their own responsibilities, it not only relieves mothers but also proves them perfect future spouses. Good mothers raise good individuals who do not violate rules and regulations.

10.Confidence and sharing at home :

Good Mothers create a safe environment at home where boundaries and love life is not compromised. Kids do not hesitate to discuss their problems without being judged. A safe environment at home provides confidence and emotional support. Kids raised in a safe environment by safe Mothers are confident, emotionally secured, mentally relaxed individuals who add for betterment of society.

However besides these, the term Good Mother is an ideal term used for mums. Mothers need not to be depressed and overworked. They can take breaks and give themselves time. It’s completely okay to be feeling malfunctioning when it comes to motherhood. It’s not a one day or one year job, it’s a lifetime job and you should not be worn out for that.