How to Deal with a Narcissistic Parent
Narcissistic Parents are very difficult to deal with. Especially when you are a small kid, it is the time when you are dependent on your parents for the basic needs. Accepting and learning about a parent’s nature can be very difficult because kids follow their parent’s footsteps. At an early stage of life it is difficult to highlight what our parents lack and what are their weaknesses.
ACCEPTING THAT YOUR PARENTS CAN BE PSYCHOLOGY ILL TOO:
For a child, his /her parents are the perfect beings who never commit mistakes and cannot have any fault. However, with increasing age, and time, it is obvious that kids start to observe their parents more often. That is usually the time of teenage kids. Such kids finally start accepting their parents as humans, and that humans are vulnerable to faults. Just as a child grows up and enters the early teens, it is the time when they start observing the psychology of their parents.
If the parent is suffering from any psychological malfunction, it is obvious symptoms can be observed by the child that time too.
Narcissism can affect the child, both sons and daughters equally. Narcissistic mothers can pass their behavioural problems to the kids as well. It is very common that sometimes mothers teach their kids to be narcissistic and self-sufficient. However, once a child understands the situation of narcissistic parents, he should step back and take some measures to deal with a narcissistic parent.
MEASURES TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSISTIC PARENT:
Once you are sure that one or both of your parents is narcissistic, you need to know what actually narcissism is? Narcissism can be an undiagnosed feature of your family and that can be a reason your parents rarely have friends around them. To stop the narcissistic attitude harm yourself, make sure to take the following 5 effective measures:
1. FOLLOW “GREY ROCK METHOD”:
Grey rock method is the best method to handle all sorts of narcissism. Narcissistic mothers, siblings, or kids can be very difficult to handle so you should take the grey rock method in account. This method is associated with remaining completely neutral, and unemotional, just like a grey rock to them. Rocks are the hardest one and are a perfect metaphor when it comes to lack of emotions!
Ignore the hardest thing for their own benefits in treatment. Narcissists feed on the energy and self respect of the people around them. Remember NO REACTION IS THE BEST REACTION! Try to conserve your energy when your narcissistic parent wants you to speak and violate. They enjoy controlling the rebellions.
Do not be under control, and do not be a rebellion either. This method can be a valuable change and addition to your own behaviour pattern and will make you immune to all sorts of narcissism you ever encounter!
2. EDUCATE YOURSELF: UNDERSTAND AND STUDY NARCISSISM:
The treatment of all the psychological disorders require education about such disorders before looking for the treatment. You might not know what actually is a NARCISSISTIC PARENT? Signs and symptoms of a narcissistic parent include, a continuous need of approval, self obsession, grandiosity, totally negative about others and extreme lack of empathy.
Symptoms and associated symptoms with this can lead you to understanding the underlying cause of your mother or father’s reaction. Rather than being judgemental, take it as an illness and understand the cause. Causes of narcissism can be either the traumatic effect during your parent’s childhood, or can depend upon the brought up pattern of during their early life.
During study of this psychological disorder, try to:
•Understand the cause.
•Accept the situation and the cause.
•Look for the signs and symptoms
•Checkout the level of severity.
•Understand the impact of narcissistic behaviour on you, your siblings and the whole family.
•Decide your measures to avoid the consequences of narcissism.
This is what you can do at individual level
After this, you can check out professional assistance for your parent’s cure.
3. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES:
One of the most important facts to accept is, no matter how much you love your parents, try to set boundaries where you feel drained. It is good to be vulnerable and concerned about your parents, but being constantly under their control can be very difficult to handle. Set your boundaries in your head and understand when to limit yourself. Your narcissistic parent is not wrong for being ill.
There is a slight difference between being selfish, less empathetic, and prioritising your sanity. Be careful about how you accept and channel the emotions. Definitely you need pauses too. Try to communicate with your parent’s therapist about the case study of your mother and explain how to stay at a distance and care for your father or mother.
4. RECOGNISE EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION:
Emotional manipulation works very well at the level of children usually. Narcissistic parents might play the victim card for giving birth to you and then raising you up. Definitely, it is their achievement to have you as a kid, and do not be embarrassed for this event! You need to be careful in terms of emotional manipulation. Try to be calm and rather than reacting impulsively, control your nerves.
Listen to their words and completely act normal. You are their achievement and responsibility as a kid. No one can take power from you just because you are a child. Your parents should be your emotional support rather than playing their emotional card. Respect and accept all the hardships they went through while bringing you up. But do not fall prey to narcissism.
5. COMMUNICATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND THEIR BEHAVIOUR IN A RESPECTFUL TONE:
Tones matter a lot!
Communicate with your parents about what you expect from them. Do not be coarse and do not be hard on them. Remember they are your parents. But communicate to them what you expect from them and how you feel when your narcissistic parent completely controls you or drains your energy!
Lastly, do not compare your parents with other parents as well!
