How to Break Generational Cycles

Breaking generation cycles is necessary. You definitely do not want your child to be affected by the same traumas and childhood mishaps just as you did. You need to be healthy and secure when you enter into parenthood. Parenthood can be tough but you need to go back to your childhood to experience what your kids are going through. If you experienced a traumatic childhood, definitely you will be more interested in breaking the stereotypes and generational cycles.

7 Effective Ways you can Break Generational Cycles

1. PLAN YOUR CHILDREN:

Family planning is very necessary. If you grew up in a family with lots of kids, you might be neglected by your parents. Plan your family beforehand with your partner. Generational cycles of parenting break from the time you opt for parenting. If you want to be different from your parents and their parents, this ancestral lineage should be stopped. 

2. COMMUNICATION GAP:

One of the most important generational gaps arises when there is a lack of communication between parents and child.  You need to break it finally.  Communication gap can be minimized by involving in your child’s activities as a partner rather than a parent. Parents need to have friendships with kids, not as controlling parents whom kids are afraid of.

3. SWITCH YOUR PARENTING STYLE:

Parenting styles should be studied beforehand. You need to switch your parenting style. If you grew up under toxic parents, it is more likely you do not want to follow their parenting styles. You can switch to authoritative parenting or permissive parenting. Your parenting style will let your child choose the same or different style of parenting when they grow up.

4. LEARN PATIENCE:

Parents should be the most patient structure of the family. A family’s base lies on your patience level. You need to learn how to be patient with your kids. Be patient and do not panic or over react. It is not a one day job, and you cannot retire from parenthood. Do not scream. Generational parenting cycles usually lack patience when it comes to their kids.

5. DO NOT DEMOTIVATE YOUR CHILD:

One of the most toxic parenting style is when parents demotivate their child’s interest. Do not mock your child’s hobbies, likes and dislikes. Just because society standards do not encourage a boy’s favorite color as pink, it is not necessary you should mock or insult your child’s interest. Identify your child’s talents and interests and allow him to opt for the same path.  If as a parent you are offended by your child’s choices, speak to him as two adults talk, and explain consequences. You definitely need not to carry the same legacy of devaluing your child’s abilities.

6. CREATING SUPPORT SYSTEM:

How were you as a child? Would you run to your family after making mistakes? If not, this is because your parents were not taught to accept mistakes and create a safe support system at home. Break that legacy, and create a support system at home. You should be your child’s strength. Allow them to freely share their failures with you. Break the generational cycle of “all parents should be strict to teach respect to children.”

7. CELEBRATE SUCCESS:

Your generational trauma can be the devaluation of your success. Who says carrying generational trauma in legacy is necessary? Go against it. Celebrate your child’s smallest success. It is not necessary to establish huge feasts. Just take your child to walk or give him gifts. Success is success until you acknowledge and celebrate it.

8. ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO MAKE MISTAKES:

Mistakes are very necessary. Tell your child to make mistakes. Ask your children to start a new hobby, or something that is challenging. Allow them to fail and keep making attempts. Generational trauma can be not allowing kids to make mistakes. Do not let it affect your child.

9. DO NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILD:

One of the most traumatic environments for a child is parents fighting and using abusive language in front of a child. This can ruin your child’s confidence and personality. You need not to raise broken, worn out kids. Break the pattern. Show love to your children and explain to them that both the parents are always loving each other and their kids. High pitched fights and arguments create a gap in children and they remain emotionally impaired.