Bad Step Father Signs

Step relationships are notorious since the time of Cinderella stories. Sometimes they are really cunning and mean, but they are humans too. It is not necessary that what appears evil to you is actually their wrong intention. Still, you need to be honest in assigning any designation to them, either good or bad! If your mother has decided to find a life partner and then she eventually marries one, it is most probably you dislike the change and are totally hating your step father.

Before you actually decide what to look for in a step father, you have to think positively of your step father too. Keep your personal views against him on side. If he treats you harshly, or you feel like even after accepting him, his presence is disturbing you, there is a probability he is either not adjusted in your family or is not trying to adjust. 

8 Signs of a Toxic Step Father

Here are some signs of a step father who is either toxic or not sincere to your mother and family.

1. Secretly physical abusive:

Does your father hit you for no reason? It is usually when the children are small and cannot speak the difference of attitude. A bad stepfather secretly abuses the children, when mother is not around. You may feel he pretends to care for you when your mother is at home and he changes into a beast when you are left alone with him. This secretly abusive nature shows he is afraid of your mother and is a fake partner. He pretends to be a caring and supportive partner just to make sure that his life partner trusts him for everything. Such fathers usually have some deep intentions from your mother.

2. Blackmailing:

Emotional blackmail is one of the weapons that step fathers have where they try to count all the goods they did for you. This emotional manipulation is on peak when you or your mother is a soft person or are afraid of abandonment. Your step father might have other intentions too, e.g. monetarily. This blackmailing can turn into gaslighting too if you try to make him understand the situation. You might be guilty of complaining or expressing your choices as a family.

3. Lack of Privacy:

Your father is always trying to pop up in your personal life and does not respect your boundaries. It should not be confused with his care about you. Sometimes parents are concerned, but a bad step father does that to be aware of you and that his continuous spying can be used against you later on as well. You can just keep a boundary by directly communicating to him, or by highlighting some of your boundaries to the all members on a family dinner table. If he does not understand it, it is most probably he does not want to give you privacy.

4. Try to prove you a useless child:

Stepfathers can be really challenging if they start playing with your mother’s mindset. They can actually control your mother by playing love games. Using your mother’s emotional intimacy, your stepfather might be continuously describing you as a child who is capable of doing nothing but chaos and disturbance. This can be a complete game to prove you worthless in front of your mother or other members of society. This disgrace may satisfy his ego for you as well, or either it can be a cause of narcissism as well.

5. Playing favourites:

Favoritism can be a toxic trait of all parents, especially step-fathers. If you feel your father is playing favourites with you and your step siblings, this can be the reason that you are not his real child. Step relationships might disturb the natural echo once the real relationships dominate. Either your step father is unable to maintain a balance between the relationships, or he degrades or hates you for being the part of that family.  It becomes a situation where you cannot speak it to your mother and feel left out or misfit in the family.

6. Constant Criticism:

If your father is continuously criticising you even when you are functioning normally, then it is a reason he hates you for being around. It can be due to different reasons, you should look at what is the actual cause and sign that disturbs him? Is it your mother’s love and spending time more with you than your father or your step siblings? This might frustrate your father and later on he might be evacuating his emotions on you by constantly criticising you. Similarly if he silently dislikes any other thing associated with you, it might be a reason he showcases his emotions by humiliating, criticising and disgracing you, in private or in public both.

7. Speaking ill of your real father:

If your step-father mock your real father or speak ill of him, it means your father is not supportive at all. If your mother is divorced or your father left you and now he is meeting you, it can disturb your stepdad. He might be jealous of your real father and he might be considering himself a misfit. It is a sign of either his low self-esteem or his continuous disturbance after your meetup with your father. This can be solved by communication with your step father, or your stepfather actually does not want to understand or talk. He probably hates you and your real dad’s presence in your life.

8. Over controlling:

If your real father is over controlling and keeps a check on you and your mother. It can be a reason that he does not trust you both. Either he is a narcissist, who doesn’t want you to go out of his range, or he wants to show his expression of dislike by that. You still need to highlight the difference between his over protective nature and his dislikes, but rather than communicating the reason, he just wants to show his power on you and your mother. Sometimes he tries to belittle your feelings and enjoys torturing you.