Parallel Parenting Vs Co parenting
Parallel parenting is the term used for a type of Co-Parenting that is associated with completely disconnected co-parents, whereas Co-Parenting is a generalized term for all types of interaction among parents.
Co-Parenting can be coordinated or conflicted, depending upon the communication style of two parents.
Traditional co-parenting is very different from parallel Co-Parenting. Parallel parenting may be a result of conflicted Co-parenting.
Qualitative research about parallel parenting depicts that any type of Co-Parenting may change to the other type with changing circumstances and temperamental approach of both parents.
Difference Between Parallel Parenting and Co-Parenting
Here are 6 points how they differ:
| TRADITIONAL CO-PARENTING | PARALLEL PARENTING |
| 1. Traditional Co-Parenting involves both parents. Both the parents are involved in the life decisions of kids. Either it is education, finance or emotional support, both the parents despite their divorce or separation, share a life associated with their kid. Both parents set certain boundaries and rules for the betterment of their child. | 1. Parents are usually isolated. They rarely interact. Child is an independent entity between two families, more likely an abandoned one. Both father and mother own a completely different lifestyle, that has very little or no space for the child. Kid is usually a guest at the home of both parents. |
| 2. Traditional co-parenting can involve conflicted Co-parenting too. Many times, one partner may face harassment by the other co-Parent. It can be a very well-coordinated Co-Parenting too, depending on the temperament of both parents. | 2. Both the parents are completely isolated individuals who no longer see each other. No chances of harassment is involved, neither is coordination associated. Both of them have their own preferences and may have their own married life too. |
| 3. Both the parents have pre-planned goals for their child’s future. They share the same rules at home so the child learns discipline. Parents share a vision, home rules and religious practices are the same i.e. same lights off time routines, morning routines, festival celebrations and birthdays. Child enjoys the presence of both of his parents. Traditional co-parenting is closer to natural parenthood. | 3. Parents are unaware of what’s the atmosphere of the other home. They have their own rules for sleeping and waking up. Religious practices may lack the intensity at one parent’s residency than the other one. Emotional attachments, celebrations are usually isolated. The kid needs to be present at two places for one event. It’s more likely disorganized parenthood. |
| 4. Child has a safe place to go to any parent when the need arises. The liberty of speech and intensity of affection is more important than traditional Co-Parenting. | 4. Children lack emotional support and trust. Usually in parallel Co-parenting, kids are unable to specify their natural ecosystem, and are disturbed. |
| 5. Mental illnesses are less common in such kids. When grown up they are realistic individuals who accept the facts of life. | 5. Kids may be emotionally disturbed. Lack of attention, love and care may provoke serious behavioural and psychological malfunctions, more commonly: Borderline Personality Disorders, Bipolar Disorders, Split Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. |
| 6. Kids are less prone to relationship mismanagement issues. If it’s coordinated Co-Parenting they grow up in safe hands and divorce or separation rarely affects their growth. | 6. Children growing under parallel parenting may grow up facing severe problems in relationship management. The divorce or separation actually ruins the child’s personality and brought up. |
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1. What are the disadvantages of parallel parenting?
Parallel parenting deprives the child from both of the parents. Disturbed kid may not be able to keep healthy relationships. Kids of parallel parenting suffer psychological illnesses and split personality disorders. A child under parallel parenting is unable to specify his home and comfort place. Constantly changing in atmosphere may leave him with emotional instability.
2. What is parallel parenting with a narcissist?
Parallel parenting is the best option while parenting with a narcissist. Avoiding mutual interactions is necessary for parenting with a narcissist. In parallel parenting, both the partners without interaction, can carry their own preferences and boundaries for bringing up a child. Narcissists should be avoided, and it is only possible via parallel parenting.
3. What is the difference between parenting and coparenting?
Parenting involves all the styles of parents raising their child. Parenting is usually when a couple raises their kids without divorce or separation. Parenting can be authoritative, authoritarian, permissive or neglectful. While Co-Parenting is the parenting style both parents adopt after taking the decision of divorce or separation. It can be either conflicted, coordinated or parallel co parenting.
