Narcissistic Husband Manipulation

Narcissistic Personality Disorder can ruin a family, a relationship and the mental health of many associated partners. A narcissistic partner not only disturbs the family but is always affecting the surroundings. Whoever comes in contact with a narcissist, that person can be mentally disturbed and turmoil. Because they are the most difficult cases in psychology, narcissists are difficult to treat because of their extreme self-obsession, and grandiose behaviour. 

Narcissistic fathers and narcissistic mothers can be a huge challenge for the family, but when it is a narcissistic husband, it is the coarse form of all sorts of narcissistic behaviours. If you have kids, they should be able to know how to deal with a narcissistic parent more than anyone around because they are at a high risk of being emotionally humiliated and disturbed. 

It might be very pleasant at the beginning when you were not aware of your husband’s self obsession, grandiosity, and loving attitude that is actually the controlling behaviour.  Movies, latest fiction and novels have fantasized the narcissistic behaviour of narcissistic life partners. This kind of behaviour is usually portrayed in cinema as “possessive love” and “the invincible love.”

However, it is an extremely threatening condition to the sanity when one is in real exposure towards it. It is possible that after a few weeks of marriage, you might be asking yourself, “Am I married to a narcissist?” 

Definitely, it is difficult to explain and differentiate the narcissism from the normal routine scenario but you should be able to isolate from your scenario. Manipulation from a narcissistic husband need to be overcomed by complete study on this kind of behaviour rather than being intentionally exploited for “just because you love him!”

Signs of Manipulation by a Narcissistic Husband:

Before calling a partner a narcissist, you should look into the behaviour, signs and symptoms of narcissism in the person. When the person is a husband, it is very obvious that you are manipulated each time for his possession that looks like love. 

Here are some important signs of manipulation that you might relate with:

1.GASLIGHTING:

Do you feel emotionally gaslighted by your husband? Imagine the last time you had an argument with him? 

Did he make you question your own sanity? Were you the one who had to end up saying sorry for nothing? Did he make you feel like you are asking for too much? 

Gaslighting is when your husband makes you guilty for your own feelings without reassuring you that there was a fault in your behaviour as well. Gaslighting is a very common type of manipulation. This can be because your husband knows about your nature of being kind hearted. He is emotionally taking over your energy and while he should be sorry, it is you who apologises for telling him how you feel.

2. EMOTIONALLY DRAINING AND HUMILIATING YOU:

Imagine the situations when you were there to listen to your husband when he was bothered by something. You were upset because your husband was worried and this was definitely taking a lot more of your time. You were there because you believe in “life partners do that.” You were feeling pleased when you could do the bare minimum for your husband.

He was there providing you the maximum love he could because he needed your physical, emotional and financial support. However when the days of his grief were ordered, what happened? Were you bounced back to the same feeling of unwantedness?

And when you needed help, how did your husband behave? Was he there for the bare minimum support? Did you feel comfortable by explaining your situation, either at work or any other family matter?

Did you feel loved and understood? 

Well if your answer is no, then definitely you need to take notes. Just because you were sharing your grief with your husband, he might have scolded you because, it was draining his energy or you were disturbing him for some “useless emotions” 

This kind of manipulative behaviour is a common pattern of narcissistic husbands!

3. CONSTANTLY BLAMING YOU:

Blame-shifting is the constant behaviour of a narcissistic partner. How many times you took the blame of doing nothing. For example, your husband continuously blames you for not raising the kids properly while he is never there for the kid’s special occasions because he is either at work or out of station.

Once you recognise narcissism, you might be looking back to all the blame you took just because you thought it is you who does not do things as well as it should be done. However, this blame game continues until you are worn out and any more physical work at home proves no good to him.

4.YOUR HUSBAND IS USING HIS CHARM AND CHARISMA:

Do you feel like being exploited when your husband uses charm and charisma. What made you fall for your husband? There is always a reason you like or fall for someone. It is obvious that you might be exploited again because your partner is continuously using the gadget of his charisma over you.

You might be disgraced by his words at the beginning. It is a common practice for narcissists that they disrespect you with all their heart, and then later on try to manipulate either for their sexual desires or for any other kind of support. 

5.PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS:

Who do not take care of your emotions is usually a narcissist. It is a common practice of narcissists that they do not value their partner’s emotions. It is common that you feel like your happiness is ruined by his remarks. Imagine being very happy for some reason, and he continuously criticise you because the happiness is not helping to boost his ego. Similarly, there are a lot more situations that your partner can be neglecting your need of affection, and might make fun of your love language.

This kind of manipulative behaviour is very disturbing because you feel like losing your self confidence and love for your husband.