How do I Protect My Daughter from her Narcissistic Father
Narcissistic Personality disorder can engulf all the beauty, warmth, and love of some very near and dear relationships. No matter how narcissists try to be positive all around, without professional aid, it is very difficult to get out and maintain relationships. Just as narcissistic daughters are a threat to a family, similarly, narcissistic mothers and fathers can be disturbing as well.
Fathers are usually less prone to narcissism, but once they are, they can be very difficult to cope with. Daughters of narcissistic mothers and fathers have very unusual relationship ambiguities that need to be treated as early as possible. Divorce can be an escape from a narcissistic relationship. However in parenting, there are less or no methods of escaping the relationship.
If you are a mother struggling with a narcissistic husband’s manipulation, you must be worried about what if the narcissistic behaviour affects your children, especially the daughters. Daughters are attached to their father usually. Such timely affection and love bonds might be spoiled by narcissistic fathers.
Before looking for ways to protect your daughter from your narcissistic husband, here are some common harms that occur when daughters are not protected against narcissistic fathers.
HARMS THAT OCCURS TO DAUGHTERS OF NARCISSISTIC FATHERS:
Daughters are the fragile and most loving partner of the family. However, when they are harmed by toxic fathers they can be seriously emotionally and psychologically damaged.
1. Relationship Abnormalities:
It is commonly observed that daughters treat every man that comes to their life as they used to treat their father. Daughters who have father issues are usually weak in relationships and cannot make good bonds. Daughters of narcissistic fathers always try to be near their fathers. They need approval of their narcissistic father, just as their father needs appraisal of everyone around them.
This psychological need of being loved by a father may seriously disturb them when they do not get the right amount of love and attention. With time, they slowly make it their duty to take care of all the men who are associated with any sort of relationship. They can easily fall prey to narcissistic men as partners because such men reassemble their own Narcissistic father.
2. Ignore the Right love: Fall for Red flags:
Girls who never understood the healthy and right amount of love always fall prey to the unhealthy, toxic, abusive kind of love. This is a common practice of being attracted to narcissistic men like their own father and trying to take care of them so they can validate their own existence which was denied by their father. This is a trauma response created by their childhood traumas. Such daughters usually neglect healthy affection because they are never exposed to one another.
3. Loss of Self Respect:
Self respect of such daughters are very mercilessly destroyed by their fathers. They rarely respect themselves and are very weirdly vulnerable to toxic partners who abuse them. Such daughters are vulnerable, usually cowards and cannot separate themselves from the wrong kind of people who encounter them later on in their life.
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER AGAINST NARCISSISTIC FATHER, AS A MOTHER:
Being a mother you are the nearest one to your daughter. You need to take some steps to avoid your daughter’s excess encounter with her father.
Definitely it is difficult to protect your daughter from her own father because there are limitless interactions within families, however you can make sure that your daughter takes the least effect from her surroundings!
Following are the 4 steps that can add a very positive change in your daughter’s life and might immunise her against all narcissism for life long!
1. Make sure your Daughter knows about Narcissism:
You cannot directly isolate your daughter from her father because that is not practically possible. Fathers are the providers and sustainers of the family. Education can bring lots of changes, so educate your daughter about her father’s illness. Treat her gently and explain the ways of treatment for narcissistic behaviour. Once known, your daughter should make her own survey of how her father behaves absurdly and what bothers her.
You can highlight the signs and symptoms to your daughter and tell her daddy is not well. Teaching is different from blaming. Try to teach than to blame your husband for his narcissistic behaviour. Explain to her how to deal with a narcissistic parent.
2. Limit your Daughter’s Exposure to her Father:
It is the most difficult thing that cannot be done. How can you limit your daughter’s exposure to her father? It should be done in certain ways by engaging your daughter with yourself on weekends. Doing other activities together like doing laundry, baking, reading, playing etc. Depending upon the age of your daughter you can engage her in chores. This limitation of exposure is necessary for her to grow up and understand the reason.
Try to engage her with your friends, allow her to go on family trips with your brothers and their families. Give her a positive and healthy environment where she is not engaged in continuously pleasing her father.
3. Teach your Daughter Empathy and Sympathy:
Learning begins at home. Make sure your daughter understands the practical meaning of empathy. Ask her to join charities and social work. Narcissism should not affect her. Definitely the father is continuously grandiose. You should try making steps that are antagonistic to her father’s behaviour to keep her secure.
4. Make sure You Focus on your Daughter’s Strengths:
While dealing with any psychological problem, you should be focusing on strengths and decreasing the weaknesses. Make sure you help in building your daughter’s self care and self prioritization. Abuse can shake confidence into pieces. Tell your daughter you trust her for her abilities and she does not need to approve it or please anyone to approve her existence. Self care is necessary for normal growth and a healthy lifestyle. Try to boost your daughter’s strengths.
