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How can I Stop Being a Narcissist

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a psychological malfunctioning and a feeling of extreme self importance, grandiosity and lack of self awareness. If you are recently diagnosed with narcissism, it is more likely that you are looking for how to stop being a narcissist.

Narcissism is a challenge for the therapist, as the sufferer is not willing to accept this as a disorder. Once accepted, it is easy to cure and can be treated with professional aid.

There can be different causes of your narcissism. You might have adopted it as a behavioural inheritance from your narcissistic mother or your childhood differences played a part in it.

If you feel like your relationships are not working for you, all the people and friends you ever met leave you because you are too self-centered, it can be hard for you to walk in a completely new relationship without a fear of abandonment. Before you decide a new relationship goal for you, you need to work on your own self at individual level too. 

Narcissist

10 Tips to not to be a Narcissist

Therapies cannot change you until you want to be changed. So along with a therapist, you need to be acceptable for the changes and bitterness of this disorder. Here are some important steps you need to take on your behalf to avoid the difficulties of your relationships:

1. Acceptance:

Before you take steps, you need to understand the importance of acceptance. You have to spend quality time with yourself accepting that it is completely normal to have different disorders as it is a part of growth. Rather than creating it a taboo for you, you should be accepting it as we do accept our physical illnesses. Accept it and try to cure it.

2. Self Awareness:

It is obvious that narcissists lack self awareness. After acceptance you should switch to self awareness. Accepting your mistakes and reconsideration of your decisions is an important step to deal with narcissism. Once you are accepting and owning your mistakes, you are sceptical to change. Growth is an all time process and self awareness is when you own your mistakes and learn from it. Once you see a flaw in your behaviour or previous attitude, accept it and describe to yourself what better could have you done this. This kind of behaviour is an important step toward healing from many disorders including narcissism.

3. Study Narcissism:

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What else can bring you knowledge rather than studying the concept of narcissism. Do not be hard on yourself and study the signs and symptoms of narcissism. Identify the signs and do not hurry on implementation of all the signs you study on your ownself. Narcissism is a diverse subject and you might have only a few symptoms of it. Rather than being too hard on yourself, just give yourself a margin of being a human. Identify the signs of narcissism and do not forget about the disorder when you are about to make a decision later on in your life.

4. Practice Empathy:

Empathy is absent in narcissists. You need to develop empathy in yourself by practicing it at an individual level. Rather than taunting and using abusive language, try to join your peers in empathy based organisations. Lend a helping hand in charity and visit orphanages. You need to be soft in your tone and develop a helpful nature.

5. Active Listening:

One of the best ways to treat narcissistic behaviour at an individual level is improving your listening abilities. Remember what your behaviour was as a narcissist? You used to continuously boast around and speak a lot about your generosity and self importance. Active listening is very important in improving narcissism. A good listener does not interrupt while the other member is speaking. Good listening abilities include giving attention and emotional support to the one speaking. Avoid boasting and bragging about your abilities and improve your listening abilities.

6. Avoid Over Criticising:

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Narcissists are very much criticising nature. You are in the duration of self healing and working on your self growth. Avoid extra criticism on people around you. You can be very polite in nature and ignore what others are doing around you. Once you are completely into yourself you will no longer find time to criticise people and your surroundings. 

7. Accept Constructive Criticism:

Narcissists hate criticism. They are not accepting their fault and completely abandon constructive criticism. Once you are accepting your faults and are on your journey of self healing, be acceptable to the people who give constructive criticism about you and your behaviour. Do not mind accepting your faults and allow people near you to help curing you. Constructive criticism can be accepted by hearing the criticism and answering like, “I accept this thing, and it is completely true. Thanks for letting me know  I will try to be careful next time. “

8. Apologize when needed:

It is hard for narcissists to apologize. Apology is the necessary step for rehabilitation from narcissists. 

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Narcissists avoid when they are told their mistakes and usually humiliate their fellows for highlighting the mistakes. It is completely ok to make mistakes and learn from them. Apology has nothing to do with your self respect, and it actually improves your way of socialising. Be forgiving and ask for an apology when needed. Rather than being aggressive, accept that you are a human and you are trying to do things at the beginning. 

9. Accountability and Emotional Regulation:

Accountability on a daily basis can not only improve your narcissistic behaviour, but also help in emotional regulation. Try to value the people who respect and care for you. Rather than making them feel unwanted, be welcoming and warm to those who initiate warm relationships. Do not be grandiose. 

10. Avoid Controlling Humans:

Do not be hard on yourself. Relationships take time, your controlling behaviour with anyone might disturb their behaviour and distort their love for you. Rather than trying to control, set your loved one free. So that they can come back to you out of love and not compulsion.

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