Narcissist and Divorce
Though it appears that narcissists are completely discouraged about the relationship, they pretend to be the one who is more superior and you are completely not according to the narcissist’s choice. However, that is just their mechanism to make you feel unwanted and depressed. Just as you start trusting their belief about you, you might feel later on as handicapped and completely abandoned.
However, sometimes, you might feel the grandiosity and controlling behaviour of your narcissistic partner. This kind of situation might make you worried about, “am i married to a narcissist?”
Once it is diagnosed officially, you might be struggling to cope up with your partner because now narcissism is penetrating into your relationship, and ruining your personality. Accepting the fate and then trying to manage the scenario can be effective until you find your partner a cooperative one rather than one who is completely against recovery and in denial stage.
Depending on the situation it is necessary you take initial measures for sanity and yourself. No matter whatever the situation is, you might come across a situation where your partner is neglecting the topic of divorce and might fight with you for taking the decision as well. Narcissism and divorce are two completely opposite things.
Remember narcissists rarely agree for the divorce, instead they choose other options of abuse or extra showering of love to make you feel comfortable with the relationship. If your partner is struggling with narcissistic behaviour, you are the main character of such suffering as well. A narcissistic husband‘s manipulation and complaints can be understood once you have a deep profound study of narcissism..
Similarly, this can become a worse-case scenario once you oppose the behaviour of your partner.
Why a Narcissistic Wouldn’t Divorce You
Here are 5 main reasons behind why a narcissistic wouldn’t divorce you:
1. POWER:
Narcissists love power!
They really need the power to satisfy their ego. Once a narcissistic partner divorce an emotionally weak partner, they will definitely hate this process of losing their power. You might be a tool for your narcissistic partner to enjoy their rule over you. Such kind of narcissistic manipulators hate being alone with their own selves!
2. NARCISSISTIC PARTNERS HATE ACCEPTING REJECTION:
By choosing divorce, you are definitely rejecting your partner’s company. Being rejected is a nightmare for narcissistic people. When a victim of narcissism chooses separation and accepts the pain of suffering rather than being dependent on him/her. They definitely hate it.
Narcissists have extreme self-obsession and they cannot accept their own life partner asking for a boycott. You are provoking your narcissistic life partner’s weak point and definitely, it is not encouraging you for this chance. Once you choose and accept the fact, it is easy to walk out of such a relationship.
3. THE FEAR OF BEING LEFT ABANDONED:
Apparently it might not appear that narcissistic people are deep inside extremely afraid of abandonment. The fear of being left alone might provoke them from losing you. It is an obvious statement that people do not like being with narcissists. It might be their trauma associated with being left behind. Their grandiose nature might have deprived them from real people around them.
Such behaviour is very difficult to understand. Once experienced, it is common that such partners are hyperlinked with losing their loved ones. This fear of abandonment might not allow them to go through the process of divorce. It might be possible they shower lots of love on you when you ask for divorce or separation.
4. DIVORCE MIGHT MAKE THEM LOOSE AN AUDIENCE TO PRAISE THEM:
Are you the one who is always praising your partner? Definitely it might be very difficult to handle when you have that constant habit of constantly praising your partner. Just because your partner is a hard to manage partner, your appraisal is extremely triggering their self-esteem and the sense of being extraordinarily important.
Once they achieve this pedestal of extreme love, it is very likely common you are not going to facilitate any of the consequences of it anymore. Who knows your choice of separation is such a difficult step for them to accept?
5. DIVORCE CAN MAKE THEM FEEL GUILTY OF THEIR FAULTS:
A narcissist has never accepted that they can be wrong as well. Sometimes it is common that they are worried about it, but definitely, you are the one who is boosting their feelings for always being there no matter how bad they are. This choice of divorce might plead them guilty of their wrongdoings. Such kind of behaviour destroys their own pedestal of extreme overly obsessed behaviour. You might be discouraging their self-worth as well.
TACTUS OF YOUR NARCISSISTIC PARTNER AGAINST YOUR DECISION OF DIVORCE:
Once you decide about divorce, it is obvious, your partner will choose a different route now. Your partner might follows following tactics to make you rule out your decision of divorce:
1.PLAYING THE VICTIM:
It is possible that your partner is playing the victim once you have decided without further collaborative behaviour. This is a common response.
2.PROJECTION:
Be ready for the projection of your partner’s behaviour. It is more likely they accuse you for all the misunderstandings that happen between both of you. This kind of projection might disturb you for all the efforts you put into the relationship.
3.USING CHILDREN AS TOOL :
A narcissistic partner is very good at using children as a pawn!
Your partner might ask you to stay for your kids. Better to take responsibility for your kids alone rather than with a partner who emotionally manipulates the family! Remember daughters of narcissistic parents can be very traumatic!
4.EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE:
Once there is no way back for your partner, it is very common that your partner chooses emotional or physical abuse to control you. This can be very violent and it is possible you start fearing afterwards. Remember, better be aware of your narcissistic partner’s extremes rather than being emotionally exploited!
